Hey Liv, I like the distinct focus of this analysis - using one character to express your theme. I guess I'm a bit uncomfortable with the phrase 'young coloured girl': I think just young Indian girl or young Hindu girl would communicate what you need without singling out the colour of her skin; 'coloured' is considered now to be a rather old-fashioned and outmoded descriptor.
I think you need to spot the opportunities in your own writing for evidence-based enhancements: for example, you assert that the flowers in her hair symbolise sexuality (and likewise the fruit) but this is an idea you assume the reader knows to be true; here, had you identified a source by which to support your idea of the use of flower symbolism in the film, this would have been enhanced nicely and your argument rendered even more credible. This is a habit you need to develop - spotting those moments in your academic writing when you're asserting your knowledge of a concept, but not proving the validity of that concept within the actual writing by using supporting evidence to 'prove' the authority of what you've written :)
Hey Liv, I like the distinct focus of this analysis - using one character to express your theme. I guess I'm a bit uncomfortable with the phrase 'young coloured girl': I think just young Indian girl or young Hindu girl would communicate what you need without singling out the colour of her skin; 'coloured' is considered now to be a rather old-fashioned and outmoded descriptor.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to spot the opportunities in your own writing for evidence-based enhancements: for example, you assert that the flowers in her hair symbolise sexuality (and likewise the fruit) but this is an idea you assume the reader knows to be true; here, had you identified a source by which to support your idea of the use of flower symbolism in the film, this would have been enhanced nicely and your argument rendered even more credible. This is a habit you need to develop - spotting those moments in your academic writing when you're asserting your knowledge of a concept, but not proving the validity of that concept within the actual writing by using supporting evidence to 'prove' the authority of what you've written :)